the damage report
2016 PRICE
$299K
starter pack era
2023 PEAK
$429K
▲ +43% vs 2016
Q1 2026
$403K
▼ −6% from peak
10-YR CHANGE
+34%
▲ wages cry
the decade in vibes
😎FR FR
2016
$299,800
starter homes still exist, vibes immaculate
🙃MID
2017
$313,100
lowkey climbing but whatever
🤨SUS
2018
$331,800
still kinda manageable
👀WAIT WHAT
2019
$313,000
tiny dip, false hope unlocked
😷BRUH
2020
$329,000
pandemic era, buy now or cry later
💀NO WAY
2021
$355,000
zero interest rate go brrr
😭ITS OVER
2022
$413,500
rent forever club assembled
🥲DELULU
2023
$429,000
peak. maybe i'll just van life
🫠COOKED
2024
$426,800
flat lined but still painful
😩CRASHOUT
2025
$423,100
zillow is my villain origin story
🤡SLIGHT W
2026
$403,200
down a lil!! still need 6 figures tho
🎮 DRAG YOUR WALLET TO THE TRASH
it's basically what's happening anyway
👛
🗑️
SCORE: 0 wallets sacrificed · HIGH SCORE: 0
survival tools
★ AFFILIATE PICKS ★
actually useful stuff for cooked millennials
we earn a small cut if you sign up, at no cost to you. consider it karmic justice.
official merch drop
🏚️
"Rent Forever" tee
$29.99
💸
Cooked Mug
$18.00
📉
Crashout Hoodie
$54.00
🤡
Delulu Sticker Pack
$8.00
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unsolicited reviews
"i opened zillow and it opened me right back. 10/10 will cry again."
— @gentrification_girlie
"my down payment is a kidney and i only have two."
— @broke_but_baddie
"told my mom i'd buy a house. she said good luck bestie."
— @firstgenfomo